weekend happenings

okay, so the scope is said and done. do i know anything more than i did last week? not really. they biopsied three areas and i should have the test results later this week. i'm not really sure what it is that they found but jackie said the doctor "didn't seem too concerned". that's a good thing, i guess. but what caused these things. one is a nodular lymphoid hyperplasia and the other two are called apthae. not much came up when i googled them. so who knows? i still have two areas of pain so it hasn't gotten any better. oh well.

so, i'm not supposed to lift anything heavy or partake in any strenuous activity for a week. i'd like to get on the bike for at least an easy ride some time this week. but it also means no stoney marathon for me. that sucks because i was really looking forward to that race as well as the brighton duathlon i missed yesterday. there's always next year so i'm not too bummed.

despite the scope on friday, i still had an AWESOME weekend! the scope was like it never happened. they drugged me up enough that i don't remember any of it. i hardly even remember friday evening/night. i wanted to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary so we had to think of something to do. our anniversary is actually this coming saturday but with jackie's mom's brain surgery this friday, we knew we wouldn't be able to do anything. so, we decided to take mason up to huckleberry railroad for a ride on the train. after that, we headed up to frankenmuth and decided to stay there for the night and let mason play in the many pools the hotel had. i hadn't been to frankenmuth since i was in elementary school so i had no idea what to expect. it turned out to be cooler than i had expected. it's a good place to hang out with the family. the beauty of the whole weekend was that we didn't plan any of this. we didn't pack anything so we had to buy a bunch of stuff to stay the night. i really miss doing stupid, spontaneous stuff like that. unfortunately, we had to come back to reality (ie. work) yesterday. blah. at least i'm in love again!

cheater bike!

my cheater bike and myself made it out to pontiac lake last night for my first ride in a week. i haven't been on the bike since we did maybury last tuesday. way to "train" for the stoney race, huh? anyway, i saw a bunch of people i knew out there including my old teammates! unfortunately, they already finished their lap so i rode alone which was fine too. i had every intention of doing two moderate paced laps and finish around 8:45 and not need lights. after the first 2 miles, i was hurting pretty good and didn't think i wanted to suffer through a second lap. again, i know, MAMA! it took me FOREVER to feel warmed up. maybe about 35 minutes in which i was almost done with the frickin' trail! i couldn't believe how S-L-O-W i felt on the climbs. i was also having all kinds of issues w/ my chain skipping around on my cassette. yeah, i know, lose the gears but WHATEVER! after i finally warmed up, i hammered out the last two miles and finished the lap at 44:33...my fastest lap of the year! i honestly couldn't believe it. i think with a little more riding...like 3 times per week and a drivetrain that was working, i could shave another minute off that time. i'm tell ya, it's the bike. i was in WAY better shape when i was riding on the fango and couldn't even come close to 45 min. and now i'm under that. so, from now on the EMD will be know as the cheater bike.

other than the ride last night, life has been fairly uneventful for the last week. still waiting on the scope friday afternoon and hopefully, i'll be good to go after that.

oh yeah, my back is killing me right now! it's been hurting like this a day or two after my rides lately. i'm not sure if it's a fit issue or if it's the added shock my back is taking by riding a hardtail again. i think i need a slightly longer stem. i'm running a 90mm right now because that's what i had laying around but i think i'll pick up a 100mm and try that. i would like a bit more weight under the front wheel because it's been hard to keep the front tire on the ground during "steep" climbs. i think i'd also be a little more comfortable in a slightly more stretched out position. i'm hoping that will solve my back problems because i don't want to get a squishy 29er right now for obvious reasons.

another day

hey, i'm feeling better today than i have in quite awhile! my back is a bit sore but i'm only experience "mild" abdominal pain today.

what a ride last night! it was good to see some old faces especially that of the fireman's. i still have a lot of fun out at maybury. and yes, the niner, or cheater bike as it's now lovingly termed, handles beautifully out there. what an awesome bike. i've fallen hopelessly in love with her. although my old back is not used to riding the hardtail again. i'm so careless with lines on that thing. roots, i'll hit 'em. rocks? what rocks. it rolls over everything but all that extra shock gets transmitted straight to my lower back. i've quit doing abdominal work since my pain started. it seems to aggrivate it. that definitely is contributing to my back problems. i just need to learn to be smoother on that thing but it's so tempting to just blast over everything on the trail!

after sunday's debauchery, i took it easy last night and limited myself to only one pint. and a tasty pint it was. hopefully, i'll be primed and ready to go this weekend...after the cheater bike gets a thorough cleaning and tune-up!

stuff

despite all the shit i'm going through, i had a fantastic weekend! it started off by meeting chris for an A2 local loop ride. the niner handled beautifully through all of the technical sections, and i rode some stuff i never did on the fango. afterwards, we walked into town and had some grub and beers at grizzly peaks. the beer wasn't great but palatable as was the food. after three 22 ouncers, i got a text from elizabeth and we decided to do some drunk bowling on the west side of A2. an interesting crowd to say the least. i don't know what they put in that bowling alley beer but all three of us were WAY hungover on saturday. my plans of mowing the lawn and going for an afternoon ride were replaced by my bed, tv and computer...and bed.

on sunday, i was gonna get up early to do a pre-ride before the wonky poto ride dana organized. i got up at 9:00 and realized i wouldn't have time for a pre-ride. oh well, i suck. so i met a surprisingly large group out at the poto at noon. what a perfect day for a ride! there was a fast group where we could hammer from one section to the next before regrouping. let me tell you, the niner screams out there! although chris had 30 more miles on his legs than me, he was chasing me the second half of the trail! i don't care how tired junior is, he never chases me! we were definitely moving out there. did i mention the bike is just plain fun?

the ride was followed by a bbq at elizabeth's sweet condo in dexter. that was fun and turned into a stupid drunk sunday night where i got home around midnight. yeah, dumb, i know.

the awesome weekend was followed by a shitty ct scan appointment yesterday. i had to down 2 24 oz. bottles of barium and then they injected some more radioactive dye via IV. grrrr....

i had a bad start to the day when i got a voicemail saying the the doc who's doing my scope was going to be out on the 22nd so they would have to reschedule. are you fucking shittin' me??? i was soooo pissed AND frustrated...AGAIN. wtf? so, i don't know when i'm gonna have the scope and whatever this is, it's still getting worse everyday. it sucks. but at least i'm riding after work tonight. ah, the niner...

change of pace

okay, so i'm sick of all the negativity that's been going on in this blog lately. although i'm getting progressively worse, i'll try to stay positive and keep my mind off of things.

woo-hoo, it's friday! i'm looking forward to finally riding again tonight after work. i sherped-out last night because it was pouring when i got home. so, i haven't been on the bike since last saturday. i'll see how things go tonight and whether or not my body will hold up. if i do okay, i'll be heading out again tomorrow in preparation for the big group ride on sunday! i think it's gonna be a fun weekend. at least i'm looking forward to it and being around people helps me forget about my problems.

i'm excited to ride the niner again! every time i look at that thing, i can't help but notice how sexy it is. what a sweet looking bike! not to mention it's a blast to ride! i'm so sick of all the comparisons being done to determine which is faster/better. who cares? i like it and it's just way more fun to ride than my 26er. plain and simple, end of story.

now if the afternoon would just fly by....

fuck it all!

doctors are idiots. plain and simple. they really don't have a clue...well, at least very few do. so i meet w/ the surgeon yesterday and asks if he's looked at my ct scans. he says no but he has the report. there may or may not be an abnormality with my appendix. wtf? i thought when i talked to the other surgeon last week, he said it wasn't my appendix and that they found an abnormality in my large intestine next to the appendix. i'm frustrated beyond belief. no answers. they've scheduled me for another ct scan on monday. yea! more radiation. and i have to wait 14 more days for the ass cam. great. so it's gonna be about 5 weeks after i was in the ER before they have any answers for me. ridiculous. i give up. really.

so in the meantime, i'm gonna live as normally as i can even though whatever this is, it's getting worse. i ran to my car yesterday in the rain and every step i took it hurt. at least riding isn't as jarring as running. i'm really looking forward to attempting a double poto on sunday. i've lifted the last three nights and feel good in that respect. so goes another day in the life of a chronically sick boy...

2 year anniversary

well, today marks the two year anniversary of when i got rid of my pituitary tumor. two years later...and i thought i would be doing a lot better than i am now. today's my appointment so we'll see if i can get any insight from the doc.

i was hoping i would be able to ride on the anniversary date but it looks like the rain is gonna keep me off the bike again. didn't ride last night either since i felt like crap when i got home. whatever this is, it's getting worse. i just want it over with. i need answers. as much as i try not to think about it, it must be in the back of my mind because i'm getting very mentally tired. and irritable. i was yelling out the window at this guy coming in to work this morning. well, other than the fact he was an asshole who almost caused me to crash into him...it's just unlike me to actually yell at someone out my window. hopefully, i'll have some answers soon and can put my mind at ease.

i just want to ride my bike. is that too much to ask?

want to ride

ugh! i just want this over with. the discomfort is getting progressively worse and spanning a larger area. they just need to find out what it is ASAP. it ridiculous because the fucking ER doctors should've found this weeks ago. they better NOT give me the runaround tomorrow.

i just wish everything was okay again so i can ride my bike and get on with life. it's been so nice out the last two days. i didn't do anything outside after work last night but i did lift some weights. that was fun. it's been a long time so i'm pretty sore today.

i kinda want to ride tonight. maybe hook up w/ the novi group later tonight. it seems like jackie's going through more than i am right now. later this afternoon she's going w/ her mom to consult w/ her surgeon to schedule her surgery. as if jackie doesn't have enough to worry about, her mom was diagnosed w/ a brain tumor back in the winter. unfortunately, she waited on the surgery and her mri last week revealed that the tumor has grown quite a bit and the surgery is going to be a little more complicated. that sucks. what are the chances that her mom and husband both have/had brain tumors? weird.

it's a waiting game

not much i can do right now but wait. i have a stupid "consultation" appointment on wednesday afternoon. i just want the scope and find out exactly what i need to deal with. i'm still hopeful that they'll do it friday, but it's unlikely. so, it probably means i'll have to wait another frickin' week before i find out if i have cancer or not. blah!

whatever it is, it's not getting any better. it seems to be getting worse but, of course, that could just be in my head. oh well, 2 more days and i'll know at least a little bit more.

i had a very good weekend to keep my mind off of things. i was too depressed to go into work on friday so i met up w/ some old friends for a ride out at pontiac. that was definitely fun! after the ride we had some post-ride beverages and i headed home to watch the pistons get blown out. oh well, at least i had plenty of jolly pumpkin to get me feeling good enough to sing karaoke in the basement *alone*. don't go and start feeling all embarrassed for me.

saturday, i decided to go ride instead of hang out at pontiac and watch people ride their bikes as i was definitely not racing. yeah, i kind of miss seeing all my racing buddies but it was too nice out not to go ride. i went with an old friend to brighton. we decided to just do the murray lake loop. it started out sunny but a couple of miles in, it got dark and windy and started raining. it was a light rain that just basically packed the sand and dust down. so, out for a second loop the same thing happened except it rained a bit harder and there was some thunder. we decided on a third lap and this time it was dry and sunny! that niner is soooo much fun! i'm really starting to get used to it and like it. i don't miss the fango at all.

after an afternoon of biking i headed way the fuck up north to metamora for a friend's bachelor party. it was good seeing the guys. i see my non-mountain biking buddies only a couple of times a year now. we don't have too much in common anymore...well, except for drinking!

now that the weekend's over and i'm back to work, it's hard to keep my mind off of stuff. it's kind of an emotional rollercoaster especially when i don't know anything right now. it's hard not to speculate but i do know that i'm ready to fight. if not for me, then for mason. he deserves to have his daddy around for a long time. it's funny because on friday night he asked me out of the blue if we'd be friends forever. that right there makes it all worth it.

bad, bad news

okay, so i was almost expecting something like this to happen. but maybe not. i got blindsided this afternoon after i got back from lunch. the message light on my work phone was blinking. i call the voicemail and who was it? the surgeon i saw in the ER. now let me tell you from experience that if you get a call from the doc after they tell you everything is okay, it's a very bad sign. so i give him a call and sure enough, they found an "abnormality" on my ct scan. it's in the area of the large intestine called the cecum which is next to the appendix. of course the doc wasn't willing to jump to any conclusions. "oh, it's probably just nothing." i've heard that one before, and it turned out i had a brain tumor. they just don't want to alarm the patient before they know for sure. since i still have pain in that area and acromegalics are at least 2.5 times more likely to develop colorectal cancer, it's pretty obvious to me as to what it is. now it's just a waiting game. i need to have a "consultation" appointment w/ the doc who's doing the scope before they'll even schedule it. so that appointment is next wednesday. ironically, next wednesday is the two year anniversary of my brain surgery. so, we know something is there. is it just a polyp? a benign tumor? or is it a malignant one? only time will tell. if it's the later, then i'd say i'm in a whole heap of trouble. it's the number 2 (no pun intended) cancer killer in the western world. basically, if you have a malignant tumor that has metastisized, you're pretty much toast.

so maybe wishes do come true. i wish for death and here i'm faced with it. i'm not sure how i feel about it at this point. all i can think about right now is it's party time! i feel like drinking and getting fucked up. why not? i'm not taking any of this beer with me to the grave.

some time away part 2

so i got my new bike. i should be ecstatic, right? well, i was...until i rode it. i stopped by the shop on saturday and watched while tony finshed her up. after a phat bar burger and 3 hours, she was finally done. what a sight she was! HOT was more like it. (pics are coming, i promise!) i took her for a spin around the shop and couldn't believe it was actually mine! with it being saturday, i had officially been off the bike for 2 weeks. i had planned to ride with elizabeth so it would be an easy inagural ride. we decided to meet up at maybury. we did one casual lap and decided to drink beer instead of do a second lap. that was completely okay with me. the bike felt pretty comfortable with maybe a few minor tweaks in store.

elizabeth is a very cool chick to hang out with. we headed up to the deadwood to sit on their patio since it was a very mid-summer-like evening. after a jolly pumpkin in the lot at maybury and 3 pints of oberon, we called it a night.

when we finished up our lap at maybury, i was talking to this guy who was asking some questions about the niner. he is having a custom ti 29er being built up by quiring. cool. he's an expert level racer and i told him i'd be riding pontiac on sunday. he wanted to join me (for some odd reason).

the high on sunday was supposed to be in the low 90's...ridiculous for may. i got up around 10 and checked the weather. the heat index was already up to 88 degrees. i knew i'd be in for a scorcher as we were meeting up at 1:00. as we headed out on the trail, i felt pretty decent but nervous (for some odd reason). maybe it's because i hate holding up faster riders. so i went all out and rode as fast as i could. the chain kept jumping from the middle to small chainrings when i pedalled over bumpy sections. that was VERY annoying. i could just feel the waves of heat hit me in the face...much like when the heat hits you when you open a hot oven. by the time we climbed up the long hill after the bowl switchbacks, i was toast. burnt toast was more like it. i really had to stop. i couldn't believe how hard of a time i was having. on top of that, my seatpost was slipping too. which at this point was about 2 inches lower than normal. being too lazy to adjust it, i rode on. i kept getting slower and slower. at one point the guy asked, 'are you sure the 29er isn't slowing you down?'. grrrr. that's the last thing i wanted to hear. you're supposed to have the ride of your life on your first real ride on a new bike. nope, that was one of the worst rides i've had this year. i finally get back to the lot ready to pass out. i ask if he had anything that was cold. i needed something cold ASAP. at this point, i had stopped sweating and felt like i was getting the chills. not good. luckily, he had an ice cold bottle of water in his jeep. i sucked that down and a few minutes later started sweating profusely again. a good sign. by the time i got back to the lot my seatpost had dropped 3 full inches! it was like i was riding a choppered out bike. that may have been one reason why i had no power on the climbs. another could have been the fact that i was in the hospital hooked up to IVs 5 days prior. so for right now, i'm not blaming it on the bike. i'm just a bit out of shape from not riding for 2 weeks and being sick and all. sure, it may be a bit slower on the climbs but it sure makes up for it on the downhills and the rough sections.

there was no way i was going to do another lap in that heat. in the parking lot under the sun, it was 105 degrees! yikes! instead, i headed over to tom's bbq. more on that in part 3.

some time away part 1

it's been over a week since i've last written...much has gone on. more bad than good, more depression than cheer. where do i start?

let's see...i went to meet w/ the surgeon last thursday and he finally confirmed that i do NOT have appendicitis. yea. big deal. i don't have appendicitis but something else is wrong with me. no one knows what. i'm sick of doctors so i'm not going to find out what it is. i've made the decision that whatever it is, even if it's serious, i'm ready to accept the consequences. even if it means i die. i'm ready. really. i've just been sick for so long. it's been about 5 years now. i don't even know what it's like to feel healthy for more than a couple of months at a time. really. wednesday night i was so depressed that i hoped that i had appendicitis just so it would burst and i'd do nothing about it. just keel over and die. really.

so maybe this is just another phase i'm in. i get depressed every so often but i don't ever remember being like this. well, maybe when i got dumped back in college. but that's different. i'm feeling overwhelmed with life. everything. the house, work, the commute into work...it goes on and on. maybe i need a vacation. it also sucks that the majority of my vacation time is used for stupid doctor's appointments, tests, and hospital visits. so, i haven't had a vacation since ore to shore last year...late august.

i also can't believe how out of shape i am. i did seven rides in the month of may. that's it. how ridiculous. i'm also eating like shit too. two HUGE meals a day. and not-good-for-you meals at that. i haven't lifted in almost 2 weeks and have only been on the bike twice since addison. and what an awful experience it was last weekend. that story will be saved for part 2.