new chapter
today marks the close to this chapter of my life. tomorrow begins a new one. i start my new job tomorrow. i'm a bit uneasy, to say the least. i'm not sure why. maybe it's just because the unknown sometimes scares me. maybe i'm afraid of failure. i don't know what it is because i don't know the exact expectations that will be placed upon with this new position. i can only hope for the best and take it one day at a time.
so, yeah, it's going to be weird to get into a routine again. it's been more than six and a half months since i've worked! i hope i can manage my time okay because this apartment is getting a little out of hand.
it's kind of weird because i've had an overwhelming feeling of sadness come over me the last couple of hours. i can't really put a finger on it. is it because i feel horrible that my family is broken up? is it because of my rocky relationship with carrie? is it because of the pressure of starting a new job? is it because i feel bad for mason that he can't experience "normal" things as a family? is it because i've been WASTED 6 out of the last 8 nights? alcohol does evil things to my mood when I'm sober following a hard night of drinking or a string of drinking days. maybe it's a combination of all of the above. i just feel so uneasy. will this feeling ever go away? it seems like i'm always uneasy or in a funk about something.
so carrie and i are back together...i guess. i say i guess because we sort of patched things up on friday night but for some reason something feels off to me. something just doesn't feel right. again, i can't put a finger on it but something's not right. i hope all the answers come to me sooner than later because this absolutely sucks!
the past six and a half months have been HARD. i've dealt with some of the most, if not most difficult things in my life. and you know what? you're just never the same. and i'm not. i'll never be the same. sometimes i feel so alone in this world. tomorrow is a new day and a new job and i walk this road alone.
so, yeah, it's going to be weird to get into a routine again. it's been more than six and a half months since i've worked! i hope i can manage my time okay because this apartment is getting a little out of hand.
it's kind of weird because i've had an overwhelming feeling of sadness come over me the last couple of hours. i can't really put a finger on it. is it because i feel horrible that my family is broken up? is it because of my rocky relationship with carrie? is it because of the pressure of starting a new job? is it because i feel bad for mason that he can't experience "normal" things as a family? is it because i've been WASTED 6 out of the last 8 nights? alcohol does evil things to my mood when I'm sober following a hard night of drinking or a string of drinking days. maybe it's a combination of all of the above. i just feel so uneasy. will this feeling ever go away? it seems like i'm always uneasy or in a funk about something.
so carrie and i are back together...i guess. i say i guess because we sort of patched things up on friday night but for some reason something feels off to me. something just doesn't feel right. again, i can't put a finger on it but something's not right. i hope all the answers come to me sooner than later because this absolutely sucks!
the past six and a half months have been HARD. i've dealt with some of the most, if not most difficult things in my life. and you know what? you're just never the same. and i'm not. i'll never be the same. sometimes i feel so alone in this world. tomorrow is a new day and a new job and i walk this road alone.
posted by Alden at 10:56 PM
4 Comments:
Hey Alden,
I read your blog hoping that perhaps you can tell us about your treatment for acromegaly, or any follow-ups you may have had. (I've started an Acromegaly diary by the way)
Keep on blogging, you really don't know who's reading.
Trys
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
Hello there! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
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