19 days and counting!

so, i've been training for this race called iceman and i have less than 3 weeks to go. since i hadn't ridden very much all summer, i know i had my work cut out for me when i decided to start "training" during vacation--the week of labor day. so, i've been at it for about 5 weeks and i'm still not where i want to be. i know i don't have the strength and endurance to finsh how i want to finish so i'm just looking to finish comfortably. my one and only iceman race two years ago must've left a pretty big scar because i'm frankly scared to death of this race. sure it's only a two plus hour race (for me, hopefully) but still, those hills kicked my ass the first time around. and for someone who averaged 1 ride every 10 days over the entire summer, i haven't built up any race pace endurance.

let me refresh your memories...i had brain surgery on june 7th of that year and finally got on the bike on july 17th. so that gave me 3.5 months to get my ass in shape for the race. i did a lot of riding that summer and fall, but they were mostly group rides which meant lots of stopping to regroup. i ended up being in the best shape of my life despite weird things coming out of my nose from the surgical site. regardless, my goal was to get on the podium for the sport class in my age...top ten seemed totally do-able. i had the race of my life up until the end of the race. i cramped up really bad on the second to last hill but continued on. not knowing whether or not there were any more climbs, i thought i would be getting on the podium. then it hit me. that last woodchip climb. as soon as i got off the bike, both of my legs locked and stayed that way. at that time i was at 1:51 w/ only 1 mile to go. i couldn't walk up the hill and i certainly couldn't get back on the bike. so i sat and waited...and waited...until finally my legs allowed me to walk up the hill. i sat on the side of the trail for 11 minutes. my heart was broken as i finished at 2:06, which was a pretty crappy time for such fast course conditions. that thought of me sitting on the side of the trail still haunts me. everyone tells me i'll be fine this year. but they all say that. i know my body better than anybody and it still scares me. i've trained pretty hard the past month and a half but i still have some work to do. i've been doing lots of running on days i can't ride and ride pretty hard on days on the bike. i've even done some hills at kensington. so, will i be ready to conquer my fears this year? i don't know. we'll find out november 4th at around 12:15PM.